Sunday, January 16, 2005

Wonderwander has changed it's look and theme..

I've been giving my blogs a work-over and updating or otherwise improving their look and Wonderwander is the last of my blogs to get a new look. I have a fondness for Wonderwander, as it was my first entry into blogging, so my first blog. I didn't have a clue what I was doing really, and didn't start to get a clue until I'd made several blogs.

Life went on, the two in our family were deployed to Iraq for 15 months, and my life altered considerably. I felt pulled in different directions as being opposed to the war from the beginning, knowing my daughter and her 3 children would be alone to fend for themselves, and the nature of my employment with the State required a neutral position on politics, well at least, nothing that could be spoken aloud one way or the other. I did not feel I could keep all the balls in the air and the feelings of disconnect were powerful for me from the beginning. I left my career employment, devoted myself to being the support for my daughter's family, and finding outlets where I could indeed find expression for my feelings against the war.

Being a military family now, with 2 loved ones deployed, and being a military brat, I knew the culture of military life is to keep silence regarding policies and public statements of the Commander-in-Chief. Yet, I felt from the beginning that his CIC did not have the high value, respect and dignity of the code of military troops and would not be an ally to them once he deployed them. How unfortunate that my early gut was so correct along the progression of the last 2 + years in what we have seen in Iraq.

I found Military Families Speak Out and a place to exercise my unique voice in calling attention to the un-met needs of the troops deployed, the wrongness of the war in Iraq particularly, and the incredible impact the devastation and carnage would have on our own troops as well as untold civilian families in Iraq. I spent all of the early 18 months of Iraq in speaking out which brought us to the campaign for Presidential election. I watched along, with the rest of the country with intense interest as to who would best handle the deterioration of Iraq, knowing Bush could not or would not, leaving Kerry as the more likely alternative.

Towards the end of the election though, I came to find that while I had some unsureness about John F. Kerry, I well remembered his courage in the 1960s, upon his return from Vietnam. I heard what he had to say and came to admire his courage even more. I threw myself into helping in the campaigning for John Kerry and believed without question that he
received more votes and would be our new President and Commander-in-Chief. Till that evening when something shifted, rather suddenly, and rather surprisingly. I saw the look on Bush's face earlier in the day and I knew he knew ... it was over. Yet by late afternoon, evening, he was holding an unprecedented and surprise press release in the White House with his family gathered around. I knew at that moment, in my heart, that something behind the scenes was going on, something we would likely never really get to know about, and the election had been tampered with in ways we could only imagine and guess at, but my heart sank in recognition that Bush was not leaving. Iraq would continue, as would the carnage and devastation as would the young troops continue to be in combat without leadership, without a leader who had their heart as his own.

I worked after the elections for the long 7 weeks, morning till late into the night, in the blogging communities, on what was coming to light in voter disenfranchisement, voter suppression, and election fraud. Representative Conyers held the Congressional Hearings and I waited for the electoral vote to be presented in Congress, knowing there would be a challenge to the Ohio vote. Representative Tubbs-Jones and this time One Senator, Sen. Barbara Boxer did go on record with a challenge/contest to the Ohio elector vote. It will now be part of the Congressional Record, part of our country's shame, but there for the young and future generations to view and make of it what they will regarding this period in our history as a nation.

The two in our family who have already served extended tour (15 months) in Iraq, have heard they will be re-deployed now for second tours in Iraq. I have never felt so utterly helpless to have some impact in helping my loved ones, and I did everything in my limited power that I could do these past 2 + years to not have to come to this day, where our two young ones have to face the reality of second tours in Iraq in seriously worsened and even more dangerous conditions. I feel "old", very "old" suddenly. The immediate future is in the hands of the citizens of this country, and those of us who cried out loudly and went unheard for the most part, can't do it without the rest of our countrymen.

I've organized my blogs to take care of differings aspects for how to get along now in a 2nd Bush term as he goes about cannibalizing what is left of our country for reasons no one but he seems to know for there is no rationalizing or explaining away his decisions or policies. Blue Tones will be my blog then for political wanderings. Emerald City will be my blog for living life with a broken heart and that sick feeling in the soul of my being, as each day will pass no matter my broken heart or the nature of my soul. Dying to Preserve the Lies, will continue to try to advocate for the troops, for ending this war, for getting them home, and then truly, God only knows now how or if Iraq will be put back together having suffered so much damage for no reason anyone can now point to specifically. God, how I hate what our country has become.

In a throwback to a time past, I have also Back in The Days, everything 1950's and 1960's as I was a child/teen during those eras and despite the travesties of a difficult life in a family making poor choices, I have fond memories of some of the things that brought me comfort in those eras. Although the 1960's brought me my young husband, drafted and sent to Vietnam, I was still young enough to be naively aware (if that makes any sense). And with Wonderwander then I will go back to where I started with this blog, which is just to mark the daily wonders when I find them.

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